Hey Queen Reader 🖤👑,

Have you ever looked up and realized you’ve been surviving for so long that you almost forgot what you genuinely enjoy?

Not because you stopped loving those things.

But because survival had become your normal.

For the last five years, survival mode has been my norm. I was hiding my light. Hiding my gift to shift an atmosphere. Running from the healing power my story can activate. I was hiding me behind grief, navigating change, and learning acceptance.

Looking back, I don’t think I was hiding because I doubted God.

I was hiding because I was trying to protect myself.

Protect myself from visibility. From “wrong timing.” From the grief of laying down dreams I loved. Survival whispered that I wasn’t ready yet. That I wasn’t developed enough. That maybe later would be safer.

And if I’m being real… hiding looked like unwritten newsletters. Unshared testimonies. Podcasts I never said yes to. God kept giving me things to say, and I kept convincing myself I needed just a little more time.

But somewhere along the way, God gently challenged a question I didn’t even realize I was living by.

How could my Creator not be enough for the life He created just for me?

Queen… can I tell you what verse has been wearing me OUT lately? 😂

If God formed me before survival ever touched my life, then survival doesn’t get the final say over who I am.

Survival can bury parts of us, but it can never rewrite what God has spoken over us.

God has been intentionally rebuilding me with a firmer foundation, moment by moment. Not because He stopped choosing me and had to find me again. But because He never stopped choosing me in the first place. He never stopped using me, even in seasons when I didn’t want to be used.

Maybe that’s what returning has been teaching me.

Returning isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to the woman God has been faithfully forming all along.

Now sis… don’t laugh, okay? 😂 My return started with putting that THANG on.

God blessed me financially, and two of my sisters in Christ just so happened to be cleaning out their closets. Rebuilding my wardrobe wasn’t about clothes. It reminded me of something I loved. It reminded me how much I enjoy being intentional about how I step out into the world.

That one reminder became the catalyst.

From there, everything else slowly started following. I found myself doing my nails a little more. Taking better care of my hair. Spending more time in the Word. Creating again. Finally sending the newsletters God had been asking me to write. Making space for my healthy desires to experience new things and fall in love with my life and myself again.

God has been shaping me to be bold, resilient, fun, light, and a lover of His creation.

I spent too much time not realizing who I truly was in Him and just how particular He was with me. That uniqueness isn’t random. It’s part of how He’s called me to love people, shift atmospheres, and point them back to Him.

Maybe you’ve been surviving for so long that parts of you feel buried too.

Not gone. Just buried.

The joy.

The gifts.

The confidence.

The dream God gave you.

The woman you recognize in your quiet moments but haven’t seen in a while.

If that’s you, I hope this encourages you the way God has been encouraging me.

God hasn’t given up on you, even if you feel far.

He hasn’t forgotten what He placed inside of you.

And maybe… you’re not as far from yourself as you thought.

You’re simply returning to the woman He’s been faithfully forming all along.

🪞 Three Gentle Reflections

• What parts of yourself have been buried beneath survival?
• Where might God be inviting you to trust Him instead of waiting until you feel “ready”?
• What’s one small step you can take this week that reminds you of the woman God has been faithfully forming?

If this newsletter felt like a warm hug, hit reply and tell me:

What part of yourself is God inviting you to return to?

I’d be honored to pray with you.

With grace, softness, and a heart that’s still returning,

Gianina 💛

A Small Note Before We Close

One thing God has been teaching me in this season is that returning also means receiving.

For a long time, I believed I had to carry everything on my own. But I'm learning that obedience also looks like allowing others to partner with what God is building.

If Holy Tea or the AQDI community has encouraged you, challenged you, or simply reminded you that you're not walking this journey alone, and you feel led to sow into what God is doing here, I'd be incredibly grateful.

Whether you sow financially, pray for this community, or simply keep showing up each month, thank you for being part of this journey. I'm grateful you're still rocking with us. 💛

Ways to support AQDI:

• Zelle: Gianina.Nolberto@gmail.com
• CashApp: $Gianina3​
• ​Sow a seed