Hey Queen Reader 🖤👑,

We always talk about trusting God.

But can we talk about what grief changes besides our hearts?

Lately, I've been wondering if it changes what we notice.

Losing one of my girls has put me in a position of disbelief. Not disbelief in God, but disbelief that all the things she believed I could accomplish... she won't get to witness in the natural.

My daily rhythm that included her has to change.

And I do mean daily.

It feels like the gold thread that helped me put pieces of myself back together over the past few years is terribly loose now.

Grief has a way of doing that.

It interrupts what felt familiar.

It changes your rhythm.

It makes you question things.

Not God's character, necessarily.

But maybe your own hesitation.

The next step.

Whether now is the right time.

Whether you're really ready.

It makes it difficult to recognize Him...

but not impossible.

Last week, I shared the story about losing my wallet before what was supposed to be a very important trip. Looking back now, that entire experience became a reminder that God wasn't nearly as far away as grief had made Him feel.

The Bible tells us that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

Not close once we've healed.

Not close once we've "found" all the answers.

Close while our hearts are still... breaking.

I've been holding onto that promise lately.

Because if He's close...

then maybe I don't have to fear missing Him.

Maybe I can trust that He's still leading me, even when the gold thread feels loose.

But glory to God...

something else has been happening.

Something unexpected.

I've been sleeping less, but creating more.

Ideas have been flowing again.

The desire to write has returned.

That creative spark grief momentarily stole has quietly started flickering back to life.

I don't think that's a coincidence.

I think that's God, too.

Not rushing me.

Not demanding anything from me.

Simply reminding me that there is still purpose to be lived, words to be written, and women to encourage.

This season isn't about pretending grief isn't real.

Maybe it's about learning that grief doesn't get the final say over how close God is.

Maybe spiritual recalibration isn't about God learning how to speak louder.

Maybe it's about slowly recognizing that His presence has never been diminished by our pain.

I'm still learning.

Still grieving.

Still asking God what He finna do next.

But I'm also learning that I don't have to wait until my heart feels whole again before trusting that He's near.

If this newsletter resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you.

Hit reply and tell me:

Where have you noticed God reminding you that He's still near?

I'd be honored to read your story—and if you'd like, pray with you.

Gianina 💛

A Small Note Before We Close

One thing God has been teaching me in this season is that returning also means receiving.

For a long time, I believed I had to carry everything on my own. But I'm learning that obedience also looks like allowing others to partner with what God is building.

If Holy Tea or the AQDI community has encouraged you, challenged you, or simply reminded you that you're not walking this journey alone, and you feel led to sow into what God is doing here, I'd be incredibly grateful.

Whether you sow financially, pray for this community, or simply keep showing up each month, thank you for being part of this journey. I'm grateful you're still rocking with us. 💛

Ways to support AQDI:

• Zelle: Gianina.Nolberto@gmail.com
• CashApp: $Gianina3​
• ​Sow a seed